The Trousers of Time
by Polydicta
Summary: Harry Potter, aged 10, is slouching through Little Whinging from school and trips over his rolled-up trouser cuff. Spying a pair of jeans under the hedge, he decides to try them on.


**The Trousers Of Time**

by Polydicta

Harry Potter, aged 10, is slouching through Little Whinging from school and trips over his rolled-up trouser cuff. Spying a pair of jeans under the hedge, he decides to try them on.

**Disclaimer: **

All fiction is derivative and fan fiction doubly so. I make no claim to own any part of any of the following, all I have done is an attempt to put together the elements in a novel fashion, using words and ideas like Lego ™ bricks.

There is no money involved – all I do is to share what I do for my own amusement.

-::::-

**The Trousers of Time**

Fate was fed up with Albus Dumbledore. The meddlesome old fool had placed young Harry Potter where he couldn't possibly grow to fulfil his destiny, and for that he would die in order to fulfil the prophesy.

Hell's Beard, Dumbledore had even set things up so that Harry was an orphan. He was supposed to have lived with his parents until he attended the College Magicieux des Grandes Pyrennees.

She decided to kick Albus Dumbledore into touch with an artefact that she had access to.

.

Harry Potter was staggering his way home to number 4, having finished school and having received his usual after-school beating from Dudley and his gang. He was sore, tired and extremely hungry, and the tape holding his shoes together was coming off.

He was passing a tall hedge when he tripped over the rolled-up cuff of his balloon-like trousers. He fell awkwardly to the pavement and spotted a lump of denim under the hedge. Squinting, he saw that it was a pair of relatively new jeans.

Wondering why anyone would chuck away a perfectly good pair of trousers, he decided to try them on then and there. He found they fitted him perfectly.

As he stood, he experienced a vision …

.

Time passed and shortly before his eleventh birthday, he received a strange letter which he read and decided was a prank, tearing it up and throwing it away. He attended Stonewall High and left with a couple of good GCSE's, and lived a life on the economic lower reaches of society.

…

Time passed and shortly before his eleventh birthday, he received a strange letter which he wasn't allowed to read. After a flood of letters, his uncle took them to a fishing hut on a rocky island where a giant of a man arrived and presented him with a letter.

Harry read it and decided that magic sounded too stupid for words, so the man left. When they returned to Little Whinging, Harry attended Stonewall High and left with a couple of good GCSE's, and lived a life on the economic lower reaches of society.

…

Time passed and shortly before his eleventh birthday, he received a strange letter which he wasn't allowed to read. After a flood of letters, his uncle took them to a fishing hut on a rocky island where a giant of a man arrived and presented him with a letter.

Harry read it and decided that magic sounded wonderful. He went to Diagon Alley and then on to the Hogwarts Express.

He decided that didn't like the redhead, Ron, so he accepted the blond Malfoy's offer. Harry was sorted into Slytherin and, hating the attitude and being persecuted by his head of house, he took his own life that Christmas.

…

Time passed and shortly before his eleventh birthday, he received a strange letter which he wasn't allowed to read. After a flood of letters, his uncle took them to a fishing hut on a rocky island where a giant of a man arrived and presented him with a letter.

Harry read it and decided that magic sounded wonderful. He went to Diagon Alley and then on to the Hogwarts Express.

He decided that he didn't like the redhead, Ron, but he found the blond Malfoy's attitude worse. Harry was sorted, friendless, into Ravenclaw where he worked hard but was killed by a Basilisk during his second year, just before the school was closed for the last time.

…

Time passed and shortly before his eleventh birthday, he received a strange letter which he wasn't allowed to read. After a flood of letters, his uncle took them to a fishing hut on a rocky island where a giant of a man arrived and presented him with a letter.

Harry read it and decided that magic sounded wonderful. He went to Diagon Alley and then on to the Hogwarts Express.

He decided that he would be friends with the redhead, Ron, especially as he found the blond Malfoy's attitude offensive. Harry was sorted into Gryffindor where his friend insulted a bushy-haired muggle-born girl.

He decided that her emotional problems were none of his business and, as a result, she was killed by a troll that same night. The guilt gnawed at Harry's conscience and he gradually spiralled down into a pit of despair from which he never recovered. He died alone in the forest the following spring.

…

Time passed and shortly before his eleventh birthday, he received a strange letter which he wasn't allowed to read. After a flood of letters, his uncle took them to a fishing hut on a rocky island where a giant of a man arrived and presented him with a letter.

Harry read it and decided that magic sounded wonderful. He went to Diagon Alley and then on to the Hogwarts Express.

He decided that he would be friends with the redhead, Ron, especially as he found the blond Malfoy's attitude offensive. Harry was sorted into Gryffindor where his friend insulted a bushy-haired muggle-born girl.

He decided that she was in danger and, as a result, ended up rescuing her from a troll, cementing a friendship that could last indefinitely.

Harry decided to pursue the mystery of the puzzle of the three-headed dog, and died under the gentle ministrations of Fluffy.

…

Time passed and shortly before his eleventh birthday, he received a strange letter which he wasn't allowed to read. After a flood of letters, his uncle took them to a fishing hut on a rocky island where a giant of a man arrived and presented him with a letter.

Harry read it and decided that magic sounded wonderful. He went to Diagon Alley and then on to the Hogwarts Express.

He decided that he would be friends with the redhead, Ron, especially as he found the blond Malfoy's attitude offensive. Harry was sorted into Gryffindor where his friend insulted a bushy-haired muggle-born girl.

He decided that she was in danger and, as a result, ended up rescuing her from a troll, cementing a friendship that could last indefinitely.

Harry decided to pursue the mystery of the puzzle of the three-headed dog. and aided by his friends, he ended up defeating Voldemort once again …

…

At last, in Harry's recursive ride round rolling, repetitious realities, his decisions achieved an early victory over Lord Voldemort and, in the final journey, he saw himself deciding to pursue his longest-lived and most stable friendship, ending up married to the bushy-haired witch, Hermione.

He saw himself, ultimately, with children; a successful career as an auror and later as Minister for Magic, and at last, dying at an extreme age with his wife of two centuries. His final sight was of a massive tribe of great grand children …

…

He was passing a tall hedge when he tripped over the rolled-up cuff of his balloon-like trousers. He fell awkwardly to the pavement and spotted a lump of denim under the hedge. Squinting, he saw that it was a pair of relatively new jeans.

Wondering why anyone would chuck away a perfectly good pair of trousers, he decided to leave them where they were. He rose and headed back to his relatives' home.


End file.
